Long over due!

As promised I am here with a new post! : ) *A long post!*

Life has been hectic and overwhelming the past several weeks. I went back and read my last few posts and it seemed to be a trend. I think its worse because of all of the holidays coming up. Just pray for me that I am able to get out of this funk and soldier on! : ) I'm sure I will...but praying never hurts!

I have actually been back on the healthy eating wagon over the past week or so and lost 3 pounds!!! I am now 3 pounds away from hitting 40 pounds lost!!! That's the number that I REALLY need to make it past! I lost 40 pounds the last time I tried to change my lifestyle and after hitting that 40 pounds everything fell apart and I gained it all back plus 10!!! I'm determined that this time will be different. Even though it may not happen on the timetable that I have set for myself. As long as I keep moving in the right direction on the scale I know I'm doing something right.

The shorter days are really killing my running schedule. Since my last post about the Great Pumpkin 5k I have only run three times!!! I thought maybe I should just switch to morning runs...but my husband leaves for work long before the sun rises so my only option as of late has been to try and go as soon as or shortly after he gets home from work. The problem with that is that I'm usually trying to finish dinner at that time and as a result either am not able to leave soon enough or completely forget about going. (More about my horrible memory later) I've also been pretty busy and that has caused me to not be able to go either. Now, I know that this can all be solved by implementing some new things. I could start dinner earlier or make meals in the crock pot on running days, set a reminder on my phone so I don't forget in the chaos that usually occurs around the time my husband gets home from work, and ask my Mother-in-law if she could come sit with the kids for an hour so I can run during the day. Its just a point of getting those things implemented...which I plan to do. Sounds easy, right? Your probably asking yourself why I don't just do it? Am I lazy? Am I a procrastinator? yes I agree...these things sound easy to change...but these are not the only things that I am currently trying to "implement" into my life to make it better, easier...in some cases necessarily harder. Any woman who isn't Martha Stewart...especially mothers...should be able to comprehend what I'm getting at here. I think what everything REALLY, TRULY boils down too is that I am feeling completely...totally overwhelmed lately...with EVERY aspect of my life. That goes for my personal relationships as well. Sometimes I seriously just wonder WHAT THE F people are thinking??? Of course maybe its just me...and I should be asking myself WHAT THE F I'm thinking or expecting!!!

I have always been a giving person. I'm not trying to toot my own horn...I have always gotten joy out of seeing other people happy. The selfish part of that is that I like to know that people are happy because of something that I did for them or said to them. Its not my main motivation for doing it, but its definitely a perk. I had never expected anything in return, the joy and happiness they felt was enough for me...but over the years I have noticed that it has become an expectation of me...that I will give of myself...my time, my money, my attention, my advice...without ever expecting anything in return. In some cases, not even a thank you. While this never bothered me before, it has become more and more bothersome to me over the last few years. Maybe since I've had kids? Since I've had kids my time, attention, and money are more precious. The time that I spend on others is time not spent on my kids. This is just a suggestion as to why it may bother me now. I really have no idea why it has become an issue recently. Am I being selfish to want to be treated the same way I treat others...to be put on the same level as I put them? I feel like I should just mention that I am not talking about one specific person here...I have gotten this from many people. Wow, I've really gone off on an unexpected tangent here. I guess Leigh and Lynn were right about needing to talk about what I'm struggling with.

Another issue I have...which really is MY OWN character flaw...is liking to have things go my way. When they don't, I get upset...sometimes REALLY upset! When I've put time and energy into something and it seems like no one else cares or has the same level of commitment to it I get very upset. I really need to work on understanding that people aren't always going to want to do the things that I want to do or they just may not put the same importance on something that I do and its ok. Although I would argue that if you don't feel that its of much importance to you, then don't agree to do it in the first place!

Ok...enough of my venting...jeez!

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Back to happier, if not relevant information. I really thought I had mentioned crocheting a wig for Isabel so that she could be a Cabbage Patch Kid for Halloween, but I can't find it...so maybe I just planned to post about it but never did? Anyways...I crocheted a wig for Isabel so that she could be a Cabbage Patch Kid for Halloween. : ) A friend of mine from high school who is AWESOME at crocheting and even has her own Etsy shop was nice enough to give me the pattern so I could make one for my daughter. In hindsight...I should have picked another color because everyone thinks she's Raggedy Anne...but either way...she looks adorable. The hat/wig turned out really good! I may even try selling them next year for Halloween! (My friend gave me permission to sell my creations from her pattern....thanks Jen!)

Before it was "finished" with bows on the ponytails.

I love that being a Cabbage Patch Kid means that her "costume" is the hat/wig and any of her normal clothes. :)

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David and I got new cell phones...and although I would have MUCH rather gotten the new Samsung Galaxy S III we ended up getting the iPhone 4. They were "free" with a 2-year contract. We had "basic" phones before so we are new to the smart phone revolution. I really love being able to go online whenever and practically where ever I want or need to! The apps are cool too. I have the Blogger app but haven't really used it obviously since I haven't been posting, but also because the app won't let you turn the phone sideways for the "full" keyboard. I wish it had a better camera...but its the same mega pixels as our digital camera so I'm happy with that.

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We carved pumpkins with the kids the other night...correction...I carved pumpkins the other night. Actually Jacob helped clean out his pumpkin...Nathan wouldn't touch the guts...and then they drew the faces they wanted on their pumpkins and I carved them. David decided not to carve his pumpkin that night so all four pumpkins are pretty. I'll share a picture once if he carves his and let you pick out which one he carved. ; )

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I'll write about my last few runs in my next post since this one is long enough already. I hope everyone enjoys their Monday as much as one can enjoy a Monday. I'll be taking Jacob to school, getting my blood drawn, and running some other errands. Not very fun...but I'll try to make the best of it. : )