Long over due!

As promised I am here with a new post! : ) *A long post!*

Life has been hectic and overwhelming the past several weeks. I went back and read my last few posts and it seemed to be a trend. I think its worse because of all of the holidays coming up. Just pray for me that I am able to get out of this funk and soldier on! : ) I'm sure I will...but praying never hurts!

I have actually been back on the healthy eating wagon over the past week or so and lost 3 pounds!!! I am now 3 pounds away from hitting 40 pounds lost!!! That's the number that I REALLY need to make it past! I lost 40 pounds the last time I tried to change my lifestyle and after hitting that 40 pounds everything fell apart and I gained it all back plus 10!!! I'm determined that this time will be different. Even though it may not happen on the timetable that I have set for myself. As long as I keep moving in the right direction on the scale I know I'm doing something right.

The shorter days are really killing my running schedule. Since my last post about the Great Pumpkin 5k I have only run three times!!! I thought maybe I should just switch to morning runs...but my husband leaves for work long before the sun rises so my only option as of late has been to try and go as soon as or shortly after he gets home from work. The problem with that is that I'm usually trying to finish dinner at that time and as a result either am not able to leave soon enough or completely forget about going. (More about my horrible memory later) I've also been pretty busy and that has caused me to not be able to go either. Now, I know that this can all be solved by implementing some new things. I could start dinner earlier or make meals in the crock pot on running days, set a reminder on my phone so I don't forget in the chaos that usually occurs around the time my husband gets home from work, and ask my Mother-in-law if she could come sit with the kids for an hour so I can run during the day. Its just a point of getting those things implemented...which I plan to do. Sounds easy, right? Your probably asking yourself why I don't just do it? Am I lazy? Am I a procrastinator? yes I agree...these things sound easy to change...but these are not the only things that I am currently trying to "implement" into my life to make it better, easier...in some cases necessarily harder. Any woman who isn't Martha Stewart...especially mothers...should be able to comprehend what I'm getting at here. I think what everything REALLY, TRULY boils down too is that I am feeling completely...totally overwhelmed lately...with EVERY aspect of my life. That goes for my personal relationships as well. Sometimes I seriously just wonder WHAT THE F people are thinking??? Of course maybe its just me...and I should be asking myself WHAT THE F I'm thinking or expecting!!!

I have always been a giving person. I'm not trying to toot my own horn...I have always gotten joy out of seeing other people happy. The selfish part of that is that I like to know that people are happy because of something that I did for them or said to them. Its not my main motivation for doing it, but its definitely a perk. I had never expected anything in return, the joy and happiness they felt was enough for me...but over the years I have noticed that it has become an expectation of me...that I will give of myself...my time, my money, my attention, my advice...without ever expecting anything in return. In some cases, not even a thank you. While this never bothered me before, it has become more and more bothersome to me over the last few years. Maybe since I've had kids? Since I've had kids my time, attention, and money are more precious. The time that I spend on others is time not spent on my kids. This is just a suggestion as to why it may bother me now. I really have no idea why it has become an issue recently. Am I being selfish to want to be treated the same way I treat others...to be put on the same level as I put them? I feel like I should just mention that I am not talking about one specific person here...I have gotten this from many people. Wow, I've really gone off on an unexpected tangent here. I guess Leigh and Lynn were right about needing to talk about what I'm struggling with.

Another issue I have...which really is MY OWN character flaw...is liking to have things go my way. When they don't, I get upset...sometimes REALLY upset! When I've put time and energy into something and it seems like no one else cares or has the same level of commitment to it I get very upset. I really need to work on understanding that people aren't always going to want to do the things that I want to do or they just may not put the same importance on something that I do and its ok. Although I would argue that if you don't feel that its of much importance to you, then don't agree to do it in the first place!

Ok...enough of my venting...jeez!

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Back to happier, if not relevant information. I really thought I had mentioned crocheting a wig for Isabel so that she could be a Cabbage Patch Kid for Halloween, but I can't find it...so maybe I just planned to post about it but never did? Anyways...I crocheted a wig for Isabel so that she could be a Cabbage Patch Kid for Halloween. : ) A friend of mine from high school who is AWESOME at crocheting and even has her own Etsy shop was nice enough to give me the pattern so I could make one for my daughter. In hindsight...I should have picked another color because everyone thinks she's Raggedy Anne...but either way...she looks adorable. The hat/wig turned out really good! I may even try selling them next year for Halloween! (My friend gave me permission to sell my creations from her pattern....thanks Jen!)

Before it was "finished" with bows on the ponytails.

I love that being a Cabbage Patch Kid means that her "costume" is the hat/wig and any of her normal clothes. :)

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David and I got new cell phones...and although I would have MUCH rather gotten the new Samsung Galaxy S III we ended up getting the iPhone 4. They were "free" with a 2-year contract. We had "basic" phones before so we are new to the smart phone revolution. I really love being able to go online whenever and practically where ever I want or need to! The apps are cool too. I have the Blogger app but haven't really used it obviously since I haven't been posting, but also because the app won't let you turn the phone sideways for the "full" keyboard. I wish it had a better camera...but its the same mega pixels as our digital camera so I'm happy with that.

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We carved pumpkins with the kids the other night...correction...I carved pumpkins the other night. Actually Jacob helped clean out his pumpkin...Nathan wouldn't touch the guts...and then they drew the faces they wanted on their pumpkins and I carved them. David decided not to carve his pumpkin that night so all four pumpkins are pretty. I'll share a picture once if he carves his and let you pick out which one he carved. ; )

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I'll write about my last few runs in my next post since this one is long enough already. I hope everyone enjoys their Monday as much as one can enjoy a Monday. I'll be taking Jacob to school, getting my blood drawn, and running some other errands. Not very fun...but I'll try to make the best of it. : )

Vegging Out

I'm so sorry. I can't believe that its been twenty days since my last post!!! I will post SOON. I promise...I guess life just gets in the way sometimes as well as lack of motivation on...pretty much all fronts. I haven't even been reading any other blogs...my blog reader if FULL of posts that have gone unread. I always come and look to see if my interest will be sparked, to both read some blogs and write on my own...but I just haven't been feeling it. I've been wanting to spend my free time vegging out instead of doing some of my other hobbies. I hope that changes soon...I hate feeling so blah.

Great Pumpkin 5k Race Report

I'm really upset with myself for how long it has been since I posted last! I don't want to be one of those bloggers who posts come few and far between. It has just been a rough couple of weeks both physically and emotionally and I've come to realize that I definitely do NOT have it all figured out regarding living a healthier lifestyle. I seem to crumble when things start becoming too difficult. I understand that being physically sick is not something that I can necessarily control and that I will sometimes have to miss my workouts because of it. However, what I wasn't prepared for was how feeling crappy physically was going to effect me emotionally...which in turn has effected my eating habits (among other personal things that I don't care to share on this public blog...no offense). What I hate most is what a vicious cycle it is!!! If I am feeling down, whether it be physically or emotionally or both, I tend to eat foods that lift my mood (or if I'm really physically sick any food that sounds 'good') and are almost always 'junk' food or just too large of a serving. Then afterward I feel down again for being weak and allowing myself to eat too much of the wrong foods...which then just starts the cycle over again.


Feeling Down ~~ Eat Junk ~~ Feel Guilty ~~ Feel Down ~~ Eat Junk


So I am currently trying to get back on track with both my running and my eating habits. The exercising is going better than the food aspect. :/

Ok...on to the race report. : )

Luckily I started feeling better by Friday so I decided to still run in the Great Pumpkin 5k I signed up for a few weeks ago. Unfortunately I hadn't run since last Sunday! I was prepared to NOT PR this one. The race started at 9:15am and I had signed the boys up for the kids fun run that started at 10:15am so I just wanted to be done before then. I was convinced that I was going to do horribly. I made sure to wear my Under Armour ColdGear shirt and some gloves. Not only was it suppose to be cold...but it was also suppose to start raining right around the time the race was scheduled to start...WONDERFUL! *Dripping with sarcasm* I was still surprised by how cold it was when I got out of the car but I knew I'd warm up once the race started.

I was SUPER nervous before starting...so much so that I again forgot to start my Garmin!!! I had already gone about a quarter mile or so when I realized that I didn't start it AND I also forgot to stop it at the finish. I didn't realize that it was still running until we were in the car on the way home! So needless to say my splits are WAY off. So anyways, I wanted to stop running IMMEDIATELY! I was short of breath almost immediately...but I pushed through that initial feeling and trudged ahead. It started SLEETING shortly after the race started and I just prayed that I wouldn't get so wet that I got too cold.

I felt like I was going at a snails pace and it seemed like everyone was ahead of me. There weren't many people at this race and there was a LARGE group in front of me. I had a woman who kept leap frogging me for almost the entire race...much like what happened at my first 5k, the Huckleberry Hustle. She would run ahead of me a little ways and then start walking until I was a little ways ahead of her then she'd start running again. Around the 1.5 mile mark (seems to be a trend with me during a race) I hit a wall and had to walk. At that point my leap frog buddy deviated from her routine and walked alongside me and we chatted for a little bit. I'm pretty sure her goal was to finish ahead of me and she figured if I was taking a 'rest' then she might as well too. Once I started running again so did she and we continued with our leap frog game until we had about a mile left. At that point she took off ahead of me and never let me catch up. I was so tired by that point I really didn't think that I would be able to finish the race without having to take another walk break.

The final quarter mile took us around the local high school track and I HATED it. Not only because everyone could watch me as I shuffled at my snails pace to the finish, but because it brought back horrible memories of high school gym class. I HATED running and we were all suppose to run the mile. I was NEVER able to make it even one lap around the track before having to walk. Not to mention that I heard the man who was announcing the names of the finishers say "looks like we have the walkers coming in now" when I was about a tenth of a mile from entering the stadium to run around the track! That made be feel AWESOME...but for all my negative thoughts and how crappy the weather was I ended up with a new PR!!! : ) I finished in 43:12 which is 2:42 faster than my time in the Great Pizza Challenge! I was shocked...and of coarse I couldn't just be happy about that. I immediately wondered how much better my PR would have been had I not missed so much training lately.

The boys had to wear their winter coats for their Kids Fun Run. It was so cold and raining by then too. Nathan did pretty good...although he fell towards the end...flat on his face...so he was crying when I helped him to cross the finish line. My poor Tater! Jacob finished behind him. David ran along with him and I guess he was complaining that he couldn't do it most of the time...but at least he finished. I was worried he would just stop at some point on the track and refuse to go any further. *I don't know if I have mentioned it here before that Jacob wears a brace on his left foot and lower leg. He was born with an underdeveloped nerve so he cannot move his left foot. Not even to lift it up for walking, and as a result of the lack of nerves he also has no muscle mass in his left calf. So he has to wear a brace to keep his foot stable for walking.* They had fun and were super excited to get their t-shirts!

My next race will be the 5k that I am trying to set up for World Run Day. I've had a couple people express interest in doing it with me. Even if no one else shows up I still plan to do it...but it will be more fun to do it as a group. I'm hoping that I get enough people so that we can kind of treat it like an event...maybe even have some kind of prize for the first place finishers or something fun like that...we'll see. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm thinking I may try to go out to the place where I plan to have it and run it to make sure I figured out the distance right.

I have lots more to catch you up on but I don't want to have a super long post...and I apologize for not having any pictures. We were so late leaving for the race that David had to drop me off by the registration area and he didn't think to grab the camera because he was trying to get three kids out of the car and make sure he had them bundled up good.

Sick AGAIN!!!

I ran on Sunday and was planning to run on Tuesday but that didn't end up happening. I ended up having to take my baby girl to the ER at midnight (Monday/Tuesday) because she wouldn't stop throwing up. When I got home after 3am David was up and said that he had been throwing up since I left!!! He stayed home Tuesday so I didn't end up running and then I started getting sick yesterday and am just feeling worse today. The only plus side to having a stomach flu...I'm now down to 211 lbs.! : ) I'll update about my run and other things once I'm feeling better...and hopefully I won't be sick again for a LONG TIME!!! Ugh!

Ok...maybe I did fall off the wagon...

...but I'm getting back on!!! I even ran tonight! Even though I am STILL sick!!! This is getting pretty ridiculous! I really hope that I'm finally on the up swing sickness wise and that I can get back on track with my eating habits.

I am obviously an emotional eater and as I became sicker (*TMI...and starting my period) and watched the days since I last ran stack up I got more depressed and started eating more! Some other things have also been bothering me and so that didn't help me out in the eating department at all. I also took a break from taking my Phentermine per my neurologists suggestion. He said that it loses it effectiveness fast and to take a week off or only take it every other day could help prolong its effectiveness. So since I was sick all last week I thought that I would take a break from the Phentermine at the same time. I'm sure that factored into my over eating...but it was a combination of things that led me to gain back two pounds over the last week.

Since my last post (about the Titanic Exhibit) I have only run THREE TIMES! From Saturday the 29th until yesterday, Sunday the 8th, I did NOT run or do any exercise at all.

My splits from my run on Thursday the 27th.  C25K Week 6 Workout 1.

C25K Week 6 Workout 2. My last run (Sat. the 29th) before becoming too sick.

I'm not sure if I ever mentioned how my Garmin had been messing up on the GPS...but I finally contacted Garmin online asking how I could fix my problem and ultimately I had to do a total system reset. So when I finally felt good enough to go out for a run last night I didn't have my workout loaded onto the Garmin and it wasn't synced with my heart rate monitor. I also didn't pay attention to how far I had gone during my 5 minute warm up walk so I had to guess when I would be finished with my 2.25 miles of running. I was off by .02 of a mile. I really felt like I was running super slow and I wanted to stop long before the 2.25 miles...but I didn't. I trudged through and finished...even though I was somewhat slower than I have been recently. Guess that's what happens though when you get sick and can't run for a week...not to mention that I'm still sick!

When you don't have a workout set up the Garmin automatically 'laps' at every mile.

I'm hoping to be back to my regular every other day running schedule now. I have my next 5k race this coming Saturday and I'm worried that my being sick is going to hinder me from making another PR. I really hope not though.

I hope everyone enjoys their Monday. I'm trying to get all of my laundry caught up...and I finally figured out what Isabel is going to be for Halloween...a cabbage patch doll...so I'm crocheting a yarn wig for her from a friends pattern. I'll share pictures when I finish it! : )

Sick

I haven't abandoned you I promise. I've just been sick the past few days and along with that has come added stress that is causing me to...not fall of the healthy eating wagon...but rather I'm still holding on but am being dragged a few miles. I will post an update as soon as I'm feeling up to it. Just wanted you to know that I'm still around. : )