INSANITY! Week 1 Done!

I just completed my first week of the Insanity program! I'm surprised, but thrilled that I made it through a whole week! Now, obviously, when I say I've made it through I mean that I've completed the workouts...but I do not mean that I was able to complete them at the level of those in the video. I've had to take MANY more breaks and there are some "moves" that I just can't do yet...like a real push-up. The point is that I'm giving it 100% of my effort...that's all I can do! I weighed in at 224 lbs. when I started Insanity (the intro) and I now weigh 219 lbs. I was hoping for more drastic numbers but I'm not surprised because me diet this week has been abysmal! I need to get back on track ASAP! Monday is always a favorite day to start (or restart) things so I'll try to get back on my healthier eating track tomorrow.

I have not been on another run yet. My knees and ankles have been very sore and achy from all of the jumping and squats. I think it will probably be a couple more weeks before I'll be able to add running to my workout routine again.

I had a very exhausting weekend and am very tired so unfortunately this will be it for my post...but I'll update again soon.

Happy Monday everyone! I hope everyone has an awesome week...me included! ;)

Updates Galore!

I turned 30 on March 3rd. Yikes! I can't believe I'm THIRTY!!! Oh well, nothing I can do about it. "Age is just a number baby", right? ; )

My birthday threw me way off track diet wise. David took me to Joe's Crab Shack! I had never been there and ALWAYS wanted to go. I had two Bahama Mama's and was feeling pretty good! lol I'm such a light weight with alcohol. I hardly ever drink and it was the first time I've ever had a Bahama Mama. They are pretty good, I have to say. Nice to have something besides a Fuzzy Navel to order at a party. : )

Not a huge fan of the bib...but I've gotten several compliments on this picture. lol Even my husband loves it.

The day before my birthday David and I went to his friends wedding. Remember how I told you I was trying to figure out a fashionable outfit to wear? Well, here's what I finally came up with. Shopping and putting a whole outfit together was stressful for me! lol I don't know how people do it for everything they wear, everyday!

Coral became my POPPING third color! : )

Love, love, love the ring! David had bought me a gift certificate for a pedicure for Valentine's Day so I got my nails done too. I was matching from head to toe! ; )

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The following weekend my girlfriends and I had our last Twilight Party. I had a dozen red velvet cupcakes from Whole Foods made! If you read Katie's blog, Runs for Cookies, then you know all about Whole Foods...its heaven...and OH MY GOD!!!! They are the most amazing cupcakes I have EVER had!!! Not so good for weight loss...so only in moderation. ; )

Don't they look amazing? They are huge cupcakes too. *Drool*

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On Saturday David threw me a not so surprise birthday party. Some of my friends and family that I don't get to see too often were there. I was surprised to see some of my cousins and one of my aunt's there. I kind of teared up when I saw them! They live pretty far away so its awesome that they made the trek for me! Once I steal some pictures from someone I'll be sure to post. My sister had some huge black and white posters made up from some pictures I had on my Facebook. The largest one was of me on or around my first birthday. She had the awesome idea to have my guests sign it! I think it turned out really cool.

Wasn't I a cutie? Actually, you can't really see my face...too bright...and I look like a little boy. lol

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David and I bought the INSANITY workout program!!!! David is hoping to GAIN weight and I...obviously...am hoping to LOSE it. I tell him all of the time that we are like the nursery rhyme about the man who could eat no fat and his wife who could eat no lean or something like that. Anyways...I've completed my fourth day of the Insanity INTRO week workout!!! Yes, they have to introduce you to a little pain and sweat before the REAL pain and sweat starts! YIKES! It is REALLY hard, but I'm already finding that I'm able to do just a little bit more each day...and I got past the initial soreness that I was SUPER worried about before I started. I was VERY sore for the first three days. Day two being the worst. I was fine if I was standing...but when I'd try to sit down...OOUUCH!

I'm scheduled to start day one of the actual Insanity program on the 20th...which is next Wednesday. I'll be sure to keep you posted on my progress.

I haven't ran at all since the last run I told you guys about. As soon as I'm "comfortable" with doing these workouts everyday I'll start running again. I just don't want to injure myself trying to do so much at once. Going from barely or no exercise to an intense interval workout 6 days a week AND running is A LOT!

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I've been doing pretty good with my food since starting Insanity. They give you a book with meal plans and its the first time I don't feel like I would never eat any of the stuff! I'm actually liking everything I've made and its mostly stuff that I would already choose to eat (when I would choose to eat something healthy) so its working out well. I'm just struggling with trying to figure out where my daily calorie goal should be. In the Fitness Challenge through David's work the coach has me at a target of 1100 cal/day...which isn't happening! Insanity recommends 2500 cal/day based on the calculations...but I just think that's too much! I'm not sure what I should do. For now I'm back down to a target of 1500 cal/day...but I use My Fitness Pal and when you add exercise that you've done it gives you extra calories for the day...so really I guess my target with workouts is more like 1800 cal/day. We'll see how that works for awhile.

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I signed up for my first 5k race of 2013! Its at a county park that we use to live right by on April 27th. Hopefully I'll be ready!

Well, I think that's all of the updates I have for now. I'll try to get some posts up more regularly. I really liked it when I was posting more.

I hope everyone has been enjoying their weekend and that you all have a wonderful Sunday! God Bless!

31 X 31

I almost completed half of my 30 X 30 list...which I'm both happy and upset about, but all I can do is strive to do better this time around with my 31 X 31 list. : )

If you want, you can take a look at my 30 X 30 list.

1.   Lose 88 lbs. (Starting at 223 lbs.)
2.   Pay off a credit card.
3.   Close a credit card.
4.   Read 20 books in their entirety.
     1. Forks Over Knives Edited by Gene Stone
     2. The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets Nest by Stieg Larsson
     3.  The Walking Dead: Book 7 by Robert Kirkman
     4.  The Walking Dead: Book 8 by Robert Kirkman
     5.  The Plan by Lyn-Genet Recitas
5.   See a waterfall I've seen Niagara Falls and Tahquamenon Falls, but I'd love to see more!
6.   Go to or host a wine tasting. Not sure if I'll ever like a red wine after the disgusting ones my sister and I tried.
7.   Go to a beer festival. I'm not really a beer drinker, but I haven't tried many either.
8.   Go to Cedar Point and be able to ride any of the coasters! The last time I went was in 2010 and I had already gained back some of the 40 lbs. I lost. I almost couldn't buckle the seat belt on my favorite coaster, the millennium force, and I don't mean it was just a little tough. I mean I repeatedly struggled with it.
9.   GET MORE ORGANIZED!!!
10.  Log 200 running miles.
11.  Do some kind of race every month.
12.  Study the Bible.
13.  Run an 8k. 
14.  Run a 10k.
15.  Run the 10 mile Crim!
16.  Visit with family more.
17.  Take the kids on a trip.
18.  Stick to a budget.
19.  Complete 2 rounds of the Insanity workout program.
20.  Pick a half marathon to do in 2014!
21.  Visit a state I've never been to.
22.  Wear a bathing suit...in PUBLIC! Yikes!
23.  Take the boys roller skating.
24.  Take a dance class.
25.  Get a massage. Sounds trivial and simple, right? I've only had two in my life...and one hurt! lol
26.  Go on 12 kid-free dates with David. 1
27.  Perform 12 random acts of kindness. 1
28.  Create an Etsy Shop of my own.
29.  Talk to friends I've lost touch with.
30.  Put Jacob in a dance class. He LOVES to dance, and he has good rhythm.
31.  Do some scrapbooking! I have so many pictures that need to be put into albums. They don't even all have to be in a 'scrapbook' just in some kind of album!

Nothing New...really

I'm still sick...or I should say sick again! I had a bad cough for a little over a week and was feeling almost completely better for a day and then last night I suddenly started getting really congested. I can barely breathe out of my nose...snot is pouring out...my eyes are constantly watering, and there is so much pressure in my head I wish I could pop it!

So needless to say I have not been able to get back to my exercising yet. I'm getting very frustrated with my health and my lack of weight loss. I know that a lot of things are within my control so the only person I can blame for those things is myself...but I can't stop myself from getting sick. I have been sick almost constantly since winter started...really my whole family has been. I'm sure it has a lot to do with Jacob now being in all day kindergarten and Nathan going to preschool...but man...can't we catch a break??? I'm thinking that I might be getting so sick more often is because of the medication I am on for my MS. Part of its whole purpose is to weaken the immune system so that my body won't attack itself which is essentially what MS is all about...your immune system attacking yourself.

I turn thirty next Sunday, March 3rd. I have so many mixed emotions about it. I'm pissed at myself because since I've been overweight I've always said to myself that I KNEW I would be back to a "normal" weight by the time I was thirty. Yet here I am a week shy of my thirtieth birthday and still 222 lbs.!!! I'm trying to look on the bright side and am focusing my energies on looking (and hopefully feeling) my best for my birthday. I am horrible with fashion and while I can appreciate someone's well put together outfit I've never been able to do it myself. Whether it be because I don't feel I should waste my time because I'm so overweight or more I portably that I just don't have the money to put together outfits. I've been on Pinterest looking up plus size outfits and have really been having fun looking at everything. I'm hoping to go shopping some day this week to pick out an outfit that can pull double duty. David and I are going to a wedding on the 2nd...so I need an outfit I can wear to the wedding but then also wear it for whatever we do for my birthday. I know David is cooking something up...because I've basically told him over the last five years at least that he was required to throw me a surprise birthday party for my thirtieth. I guess it's not truly a surprise because I know he's planning something but oh well. :)
I'll be sure to post a picture of whatever outfit I come up with. If I can't be skinny for my birthday I might as well be a put together chunky girl.

This is REALLY getting old!!!

I am sick...yet again!!! Is this happening to any other family??? We keep getting sick and spreading it around to each family member! I have not run since that 'first' workout because I am wheezing, hacking, and coughing. I can't breathe out of my nose and taking deep breaths makes me cough...so exertion isn't really an option right now. I really hope it goes away soon! I really hate that I can't seem to get back on track!

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Last night was the first day of the 90 day fitness challenge through David's work. Quite a bit of good information...much of which I've learned before...but some new insights. They were also peddling their products; supplements, protein shakes, and teas. Even if I wanted to get into all of that stuff, David and I just don't have the money. That stuff was expensive...even with the 'generous' 20% discount we are getting thanks to David's company. We were given some samples of a few of their products and I am trying them but I'm pretty skeptical. I don't doubt that some people benefit from them...but I often wonder if its really the products themselves or the overall lifestyle changes that a person normally goes through when they start taking these products. I guess we'll see.

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I watched the documentary Forks Over Knives the other night and while I've never really considered being a vegetarian it really made me think about my eating habits and those of my family. I borrowed the book of the same name from the library and plan to see what it all entails in more detail. I definitely recommend watching the documentary though. Its in the "instant" movies on Netflix.

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Since I've been sick and resting I finally made a new winter hat for Nathan. He has been asking for a Lightning McQueen hat. I hadn't been able to find a pattern that I thought looked 'good' enough...so I ended up improvising my own pattern from bits and pieces of different hat patterns and just my own creation. I think it turned out pretty good.

I hope everyone has a good Wednesday! : )

New Year, New Start

...or at least I hope so. I know I am not unlike many other people out there who try to lose weight and then fall off the wagon and I'm not going to claim to be. I can look back at my old posts and see how I gradually started to go downhill. I'm sure it was a combination of several things but my mood slowly disintegrated over the past few months. It actually makes me sad to see how happy I was and how good I was doing just to see it all go downhill so quickly. I seemed to hit rock bottom just about two weeks ago. I was severely depressed. More so then I have ever been in my life and for no one apparent reason. It was more a combination of several things with one final (insignificant) thing that just caused me to completely crumble.

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I'm so upset with myself. I gained back 10 pounds over the holidays and completely stopped running...but I am NOT going to dwell on these things. I feel like my mood is slowly improving and I am determined to move forward from here. I have put a few things in place that should help me to continue on the road back to feeling better all around.

My husband and I are starting a 90 day fitness challenge through his work tomorrow and I restarted the Couch 2 5K program tonight...on the dreaded treadmill...YUCK! I can't wait till the weather gets better so I can hit the road again. I also signed up for round 2 of Run With Jess's Dietbet challenge and am hoping to win some money for my weight loss efforts there.

Another way to help me get back my running back into full swing is that I signed up to return for the Crim Training Program this year! You may remember that I won a scholarship to participate last year and I had a ton of fun training to walk the 10 mile event. This year I am biting the bullet and signing up to train to run the 5k or 8k course...but I registered for the 10 mile RUN event!!! I don't know that I'll be ready to run 10 miles by August but I'd rather sign up for the longer distance so that I can decide whether or not to continue on past the 8k course. I plan to train with the group but to also train on my own for the 10 mile run...much like I did last year when I trained to walk the 10 mile event but I did the C25K program on my own.

My eating habits are horrendous and I just can't seem to get myself to get back on track. I don't understand why its so hard and why I just can't seem to just say 'No Erin, you don't need to eat that!' Its so maddening! I'm just going to try and make small changes a little at a time.

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I've been making crocheted hats fairly steadily since I last posted. Mostly the owl hats, but I've had a few others. This shark hat was a special request. Pretty different, but cute.

We started going to a new church that is really close to our house. The church that I have been a member of since I was a very little girl is pretty far away and unfortunately doesn't have a children's program. (Well, they didn't for years, but we attended service at Christmas and were told they were going to be offering children's Sunday school again) I think our family will be really happy here at this new church. We've only attended a few times but its great to actually look forward to church instead of feeling like its an obligation.

So that's a very abbreviated take on what's been going on with me. I would go into more detail...but I've been wanting to post because it has been WAY too long since I last posted. I just needed to get that first post up. I can always go into more detail about these things in upcoming posts...after all, it is MY blog. : )

Santa Run Race Report

*Started writing this post on 12/2/12*
I was dreading this race when I got up this morning. Mainly because I've hardly ran in the last several weeks, but I was also worried about how it would be to run in a Santa suit. The weather was suppose to be pretty mild so I wasn't sure what I should wear since I knew I'd be putting the Santa suit over it. I ultimately decided to wear pants and my UA cold gear shirt because it hadn't warmed up that much by the time I was leaving.
My neighbor and my friends T and J (aka Ellen and Ryan...btw T was disappointed...he said he wanted to be Brad Pitt...next time T) did the race too. I made sure to get there early so that I could pick up my Santa suit. I had forgotten that I also ordered a hoodie sweatshirt, so that was a sweet bonus!!! The suit was so cheaply made that it was falling apart as I was trying to put it on...and it was WAY too big. They had said to order a size bigger because they run small. I guess I didn't take my weight loss into account because I was swimming in it! I'm not going to complain about that!

I lost my friends and neighbor as soon as the race started and within the first half mile my belt broke and fell off and my pants were falling down. I was able to get my pants to stop falling but my Santa coat kept flying open throughout the race. I have to be honest and say that I walked most of it. I am so off with my training that I was just happy to finish! I finished in 43:00 which I was thinking was an awesome time (I'm pretty sure it would've been a PR) until I saw that it wasn't anywhere near a full 5k course. My Garmin said I had gone 2.84 miles...and I made sure to check the route that the GPS picked up when I got home and it was accurate. It wasn't a timed event so its not a huge deal...but its a real bummer when you first expect to do poorly...then think you actually did really good...only to find out that you actually did even worse! lol

Don't I look thrilled? I'm actually smiling but doesn't that suit look like a karate uniform gone horribly wrong? lol

All of the red was a little overwhelming, but it was so cool to see so many people dressed the same.

I was too slow to get a good picture but if you look into the far distance you can see that the street area is nothing but red.

I had to make sure I got some shots of me dressed as Santa for my kids. They didn't come because they would've gotten cold waiting around for me...and I'm pretty sure it was more because my husband didn't want to try and watch all three of them amongst the crowd.

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My cousin had her baby shower a few weeks ago and we have been pretty tight on cash so I couldn't do my 'usual' baby shower gift which is a laundry basket FULL of baby essentials...diapers, wipes, soap, lotion, powder, gas drops, baby Q-Tips, etc. I did buy a few essentials...but I decided to try my hand at crocheting an owl hat. I've seen pictures of newborn babies wearing only an owl hat and thought they were just adorable. My cousin loved it and after posting a picture of the hat on my facebook page along with an adult size owl hat I made for my husband (at HIS request) I started getting people asking me if I would make them one and they would PAY me!!! So I've gotten a couple orders and have been crocheting my little fingers off! I had been planning to open my own etsy shop next fall but I'm ok with making a little extra money now!

Owl Hat Pattern Created by Sarah Zimmerman

Newborn owl hat...first attempt ever. :)

 

 

Adult size hat I made my husband.

Adult hat pattern can be found here.

Here's two of the ordered hats I just made.

Newborn size

Adult size

I haven't run size Saturday...I NEED to! Just trying to figure out how I can trudge through another run on the treadmill! Any suggestions?

World Run Day

Written: 11/24/12

*I've been sick for the past few weeks with a horrible sinus infection. If nasal secretions were valuable I'd be a BILLIONAIRE!!! I finally went to the doctors this past Monday...not because I was sick though. I had an appointment set up for my monthly weight check...which didn't go well. : ( He put me on antibiotics and an antihistamine and I'm hoping that I am finally feeling better.
I'm one day shy of not having run in two complete weeks!!! When you can't breath out of your nose and it feels like your head is about to pop you can't really run. Plus my husband was gone for an entire week for hunting so I used whatever energy I could muster to keep the kids alive on my own. *Single Moms out there...you ROCK!!! I have no idea how you do it!!!*

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I FINALLY ran on Tuesday night. I used my treadmill for the first time and I completely understand why Katie at Runs for Cookies calls it a "dreadmill"!!! I only ran a mile and I was SLOW!!! Of course I have no idea if the treadmill is at all accurate on its distance or speed...which is irritating...so I might not have been that much slower than normal. I'm going to have to figure out something to 'do' while running on the treadmill because staring at my basement wall is just not going to cut it!!! I'm so angry with myself for not having run in two weeks because I felt like I was going to die after just one mile!!!

I have a 5k race coming up this Saturday and I'm dreading my pace and time! I'm going to try not to worry about it because its a fun run. The registration fee includes a five piece Santa suit and everyone runs in them. A couple of my friends are doing it at well so I should be able to just have fun and not try to be competitive with myself. I'll be sure to get a picture of me in the Santa suit to share with you.

Way back when I last posted I had promised to show you a picture of the pumpkins I carved after David had carved his. Well, he never carved his so I'll share a picture of the pumpkins I carved. The two in the middle are my sons pumpkins. They drew the faces they wanted on the pumpkin and then I just carved it out. I did scale Jacob's up because he had drawn a tiny face in the middle of that huge pumpkin.

Left to Right: My pumpkin, Jacob's, Nathan's, and Isabel's.

The day before Halloween the boys had their friend Brooklynn over to make this Halloween cookie scene that Nathan saw in the Schwan's Food Service holiday catalog. I think it turned out pretty cute.

Total sugar coma waiting to happen!

On Sunday November 11th I participated in World Run Day by running a 5k distance at a trail near my house with a few friends. I realized just how slow of a runner I am! My friends, J and T (super sweet married couple), ran along with me. T has been suffering from an injury that has caused him to not be able to run for quite some time and J got a super bad side cramp shortly after we started running. Even injured it still seemed like they were struggling to go as slow as me. J was even WALKING alongside me at one point while I was RUNNING! Once I get back into a regular running routine I'm really going to have to work on speeding it up a little.

I've got some pretty famous friends, right? lol I asked my J to tell me her favorite male and female celebrities and this is who she told me. : D haha

As you can see I haven't been up to much the past few weeks. Hopefully I'll have more health and fitness related things going on soon to write about. I'll try not to wait so long to post again and I'm going to try and catch up on all of my favorite blogs that I have been neglecting as well.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Running Update

*I started writing this post on Sunday*

I'm thinking I'm going to just plan on only posting once a week from now on. That seems to be about how long I'm going in between posts anyways. Then any additional posts will be surprising extras!

This week was CRAZY and I again did NOT run!!! Sunday was the first day that I ran since the previous SUNDAY!!! RIDICULOUS!!! I really didn't even want to go...and I mean SERIOUSLY didn't want to go! However, I knew that part of that was simply because it had been 7 days since I ran last. The longer I go without running the more I don't want to go out for that next run, but I made myself go. I didn't plan on doing the 2.75 miles that I had "scheduled" though. I didn't want to have a horribly crappy run like I did the last few times because of having so many "rest" days in between....but of course my husband had to chime in that I should go for the full 2.75 miles. Ugh...why can he never just agree with me??? I'm not sure if he's intuitive enough when it comes to my thought process to know that I will do one of two things when he tells me what he thinks I should do. 1) I'll do the complete opposite of what he suggests or just completely ignore his advice; or 2) I'll do exactly what he suggests because I figure he doesn't think I'll actually listen to him so I want to prove that I can do it! Today I opted to listen to him and prove to him (and myself) that I could do it. I kept my pace slower than normal (or so I thought) and surprisingly I didn't feel like I was going to die afterwards! I was REALLY tired at the end...but it didn't take forever to recover like has been happening after my most recent past runs. Shockingly...I was even a little bit FASTER than my previous couple runs!!!

Since I wasn't planning on doing the whole 2.75 miles I didn't use my C25K workout I have programmed into my Garmin so I have splits for every mile instead of just one for the entire 2.75.

Here are the splits from my last couple runs...as promised. Be sure to just look at the average pace from Lap 2 in each of these splits to compare to the 14:13 time I had yesterday...it was the first time that I didn't have a warm-up walk before hand. I did walk a little ways as a cool down (because I had to get back to my house) but I just decided not to count that.

Sunday, October 28th

Friday, October 26th

Sunday, October 21st

Long over due!

As promised I am here with a new post! : ) *A long post!*

Life has been hectic and overwhelming the past several weeks. I went back and read my last few posts and it seemed to be a trend. I think its worse because of all of the holidays coming up. Just pray for me that I am able to get out of this funk and soldier on! : ) I'm sure I will...but praying never hurts!

I have actually been back on the healthy eating wagon over the past week or so and lost 3 pounds!!! I am now 3 pounds away from hitting 40 pounds lost!!! That's the number that I REALLY need to make it past! I lost 40 pounds the last time I tried to change my lifestyle and after hitting that 40 pounds everything fell apart and I gained it all back plus 10!!! I'm determined that this time will be different. Even though it may not happen on the timetable that I have set for myself. As long as I keep moving in the right direction on the scale I know I'm doing something right.

The shorter days are really killing my running schedule. Since my last post about the Great Pumpkin 5k I have only run three times!!! I thought maybe I should just switch to morning runs...but my husband leaves for work long before the sun rises so my only option as of late has been to try and go as soon as or shortly after he gets home from work. The problem with that is that I'm usually trying to finish dinner at that time and as a result either am not able to leave soon enough or completely forget about going. (More about my horrible memory later) I've also been pretty busy and that has caused me to not be able to go either. Now, I know that this can all be solved by implementing some new things. I could start dinner earlier or make meals in the crock pot on running days, set a reminder on my phone so I don't forget in the chaos that usually occurs around the time my husband gets home from work, and ask my Mother-in-law if she could come sit with the kids for an hour so I can run during the day. Its just a point of getting those things implemented...which I plan to do. Sounds easy, right? Your probably asking yourself why I don't just do it? Am I lazy? Am I a procrastinator? yes I agree...these things sound easy to change...but these are not the only things that I am currently trying to "implement" into my life to make it better, easier...in some cases necessarily harder. Any woman who isn't Martha Stewart...especially mothers...should be able to comprehend what I'm getting at here. I think what everything REALLY, TRULY boils down too is that I am feeling completely...totally overwhelmed lately...with EVERY aspect of my life. That goes for my personal relationships as well. Sometimes I seriously just wonder WHAT THE F people are thinking??? Of course maybe its just me...and I should be asking myself WHAT THE F I'm thinking or expecting!!!

I have always been a giving person. I'm not trying to toot my own horn...I have always gotten joy out of seeing other people happy. The selfish part of that is that I like to know that people are happy because of something that I did for them or said to them. Its not my main motivation for doing it, but its definitely a perk. I had never expected anything in return, the joy and happiness they felt was enough for me...but over the years I have noticed that it has become an expectation of me...that I will give of myself...my time, my money, my attention, my advice...without ever expecting anything in return. In some cases, not even a thank you. While this never bothered me before, it has become more and more bothersome to me over the last few years. Maybe since I've had kids? Since I've had kids my time, attention, and money are more precious. The time that I spend on others is time not spent on my kids. This is just a suggestion as to why it may bother me now. I really have no idea why it has become an issue recently. Am I being selfish to want to be treated the same way I treat others...to be put on the same level as I put them? I feel like I should just mention that I am not talking about one specific person here...I have gotten this from many people. Wow, I've really gone off on an unexpected tangent here. I guess Leigh and Lynn were right about needing to talk about what I'm struggling with.

Another issue I have...which really is MY OWN character flaw...is liking to have things go my way. When they don't, I get upset...sometimes REALLY upset! When I've put time and energy into something and it seems like no one else cares or has the same level of commitment to it I get very upset. I really need to work on understanding that people aren't always going to want to do the things that I want to do or they just may not put the same importance on something that I do and its ok. Although I would argue that if you don't feel that its of much importance to you, then don't agree to do it in the first place!

Ok...enough of my venting...jeez!

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Back to happier, if not relevant information. I really thought I had mentioned crocheting a wig for Isabel so that she could be a Cabbage Patch Kid for Halloween, but I can't find it...so maybe I just planned to post about it but never did? Anyways...I crocheted a wig for Isabel so that she could be a Cabbage Patch Kid for Halloween. : ) A friend of mine from high school who is AWESOME at crocheting and even has her own Etsy shop was nice enough to give me the pattern so I could make one for my daughter. In hindsight...I should have picked another color because everyone thinks she's Raggedy Anne...but either way...she looks adorable. The hat/wig turned out really good! I may even try selling them next year for Halloween! (My friend gave me permission to sell my creations from her pattern....thanks Jen!)

Before it was "finished" with bows on the ponytails.

I love that being a Cabbage Patch Kid means that her "costume" is the hat/wig and any of her normal clothes. :)

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David and I got new cell phones...and although I would have MUCH rather gotten the new Samsung Galaxy S III we ended up getting the iPhone 4. They were "free" with a 2-year contract. We had "basic" phones before so we are new to the smart phone revolution. I really love being able to go online whenever and practically where ever I want or need to! The apps are cool too. I have the Blogger app but haven't really used it obviously since I haven't been posting, but also because the app won't let you turn the phone sideways for the "full" keyboard. I wish it had a better camera...but its the same mega pixels as our digital camera so I'm happy with that.

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We carved pumpkins with the kids the other night...correction...I carved pumpkins the other night. Actually Jacob helped clean out his pumpkin...Nathan wouldn't touch the guts...and then they drew the faces they wanted on their pumpkins and I carved them. David decided not to carve his pumpkin that night so all four pumpkins are pretty. I'll share a picture once if he carves his and let you pick out which one he carved. ; )

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I'll write about my last few runs in my next post since this one is long enough already. I hope everyone enjoys their Monday as much as one can enjoy a Monday. I'll be taking Jacob to school, getting my blood drawn, and running some other errands. Not very fun...but I'll try to make the best of it. : )

Vegging Out

I'm so sorry. I can't believe that its been twenty days since my last post!!! I will post SOON. I promise...I guess life just gets in the way sometimes as well as lack of motivation on...pretty much all fronts. I haven't even been reading any other blogs...my blog reader if FULL of posts that have gone unread. I always come and look to see if my interest will be sparked, to both read some blogs and write on my own...but I just haven't been feeling it. I've been wanting to spend my free time vegging out instead of doing some of my other hobbies. I hope that changes soon...I hate feeling so blah.

Great Pumpkin 5k Race Report

I'm really upset with myself for how long it has been since I posted last! I don't want to be one of those bloggers who posts come few and far between. It has just been a rough couple of weeks both physically and emotionally and I've come to realize that I definitely do NOT have it all figured out regarding living a healthier lifestyle. I seem to crumble when things start becoming too difficult. I understand that being physically sick is not something that I can necessarily control and that I will sometimes have to miss my workouts because of it. However, what I wasn't prepared for was how feeling crappy physically was going to effect me emotionally...which in turn has effected my eating habits (among other personal things that I don't care to share on this public blog...no offense). What I hate most is what a vicious cycle it is!!! If I am feeling down, whether it be physically or emotionally or both, I tend to eat foods that lift my mood (or if I'm really physically sick any food that sounds 'good') and are almost always 'junk' food or just too large of a serving. Then afterward I feel down again for being weak and allowing myself to eat too much of the wrong foods...which then just starts the cycle over again.


Feeling Down ~~ Eat Junk ~~ Feel Guilty ~~ Feel Down ~~ Eat Junk


So I am currently trying to get back on track with both my running and my eating habits. The exercising is going better than the food aspect. :/

Ok...on to the race report. : )

Luckily I started feeling better by Friday so I decided to still run in the Great Pumpkin 5k I signed up for a few weeks ago. Unfortunately I hadn't run since last Sunday! I was prepared to NOT PR this one. The race started at 9:15am and I had signed the boys up for the kids fun run that started at 10:15am so I just wanted to be done before then. I was convinced that I was going to do horribly. I made sure to wear my Under Armour ColdGear shirt and some gloves. Not only was it suppose to be cold...but it was also suppose to start raining right around the time the race was scheduled to start...WONDERFUL! *Dripping with sarcasm* I was still surprised by how cold it was when I got out of the car but I knew I'd warm up once the race started.

I was SUPER nervous before starting...so much so that I again forgot to start my Garmin!!! I had already gone about a quarter mile or so when I realized that I didn't start it AND I also forgot to stop it at the finish. I didn't realize that it was still running until we were in the car on the way home! So needless to say my splits are WAY off. So anyways, I wanted to stop running IMMEDIATELY! I was short of breath almost immediately...but I pushed through that initial feeling and trudged ahead. It started SLEETING shortly after the race started and I just prayed that I wouldn't get so wet that I got too cold.

I felt like I was going at a snails pace and it seemed like everyone was ahead of me. There weren't many people at this race and there was a LARGE group in front of me. I had a woman who kept leap frogging me for almost the entire race...much like what happened at my first 5k, the Huckleberry Hustle. She would run ahead of me a little ways and then start walking until I was a little ways ahead of her then she'd start running again. Around the 1.5 mile mark (seems to be a trend with me during a race) I hit a wall and had to walk. At that point my leap frog buddy deviated from her routine and walked alongside me and we chatted for a little bit. I'm pretty sure her goal was to finish ahead of me and she figured if I was taking a 'rest' then she might as well too. Once I started running again so did she and we continued with our leap frog game until we had about a mile left. At that point she took off ahead of me and never let me catch up. I was so tired by that point I really didn't think that I would be able to finish the race without having to take another walk break.

The final quarter mile took us around the local high school track and I HATED it. Not only because everyone could watch me as I shuffled at my snails pace to the finish, but because it brought back horrible memories of high school gym class. I HATED running and we were all suppose to run the mile. I was NEVER able to make it even one lap around the track before having to walk. Not to mention that I heard the man who was announcing the names of the finishers say "looks like we have the walkers coming in now" when I was about a tenth of a mile from entering the stadium to run around the track! That made be feel AWESOME...but for all my negative thoughts and how crappy the weather was I ended up with a new PR!!! : ) I finished in 43:12 which is 2:42 faster than my time in the Great Pizza Challenge! I was shocked...and of coarse I couldn't just be happy about that. I immediately wondered how much better my PR would have been had I not missed so much training lately.

The boys had to wear their winter coats for their Kids Fun Run. It was so cold and raining by then too. Nathan did pretty good...although he fell towards the end...flat on his face...so he was crying when I helped him to cross the finish line. My poor Tater! Jacob finished behind him. David ran along with him and I guess he was complaining that he couldn't do it most of the time...but at least he finished. I was worried he would just stop at some point on the track and refuse to go any further. *I don't know if I have mentioned it here before that Jacob wears a brace on his left foot and lower leg. He was born with an underdeveloped nerve so he cannot move his left foot. Not even to lift it up for walking, and as a result of the lack of nerves he also has no muscle mass in his left calf. So he has to wear a brace to keep his foot stable for walking.* They had fun and were super excited to get their t-shirts!

My next race will be the 5k that I am trying to set up for World Run Day. I've had a couple people express interest in doing it with me. Even if no one else shows up I still plan to do it...but it will be more fun to do it as a group. I'm hoping that I get enough people so that we can kind of treat it like an event...maybe even have some kind of prize for the first place finishers or something fun like that...we'll see. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm thinking I may try to go out to the place where I plan to have it and run it to make sure I figured out the distance right.

I have lots more to catch you up on but I don't want to have a super long post...and I apologize for not having any pictures. We were so late leaving for the race that David had to drop me off by the registration area and he didn't think to grab the camera because he was trying to get three kids out of the car and make sure he had them bundled up good.

Sick AGAIN!!!

I ran on Sunday and was planning to run on Tuesday but that didn't end up happening. I ended up having to take my baby girl to the ER at midnight (Monday/Tuesday) because she wouldn't stop throwing up. When I got home after 3am David was up and said that he had been throwing up since I left!!! He stayed home Tuesday so I didn't end up running and then I started getting sick yesterday and am just feeling worse today. The only plus side to having a stomach flu...I'm now down to 211 lbs.! : ) I'll update about my run and other things once I'm feeling better...and hopefully I won't be sick again for a LONG TIME!!! Ugh!

Ok...maybe I did fall off the wagon...

...but I'm getting back on!!! I even ran tonight! Even though I am STILL sick!!! This is getting pretty ridiculous! I really hope that I'm finally on the up swing sickness wise and that I can get back on track with my eating habits.

I am obviously an emotional eater and as I became sicker (*TMI...and starting my period) and watched the days since I last ran stack up I got more depressed and started eating more! Some other things have also been bothering me and so that didn't help me out in the eating department at all. I also took a break from taking my Phentermine per my neurologists suggestion. He said that it loses it effectiveness fast and to take a week off or only take it every other day could help prolong its effectiveness. So since I was sick all last week I thought that I would take a break from the Phentermine at the same time. I'm sure that factored into my over eating...but it was a combination of things that led me to gain back two pounds over the last week.

Since my last post (about the Titanic Exhibit) I have only run THREE TIMES! From Saturday the 29th until yesterday, Sunday the 8th, I did NOT run or do any exercise at all.

My splits from my run on Thursday the 27th.  C25K Week 6 Workout 1.

C25K Week 6 Workout 2. My last run (Sat. the 29th) before becoming too sick.

I'm not sure if I ever mentioned how my Garmin had been messing up on the GPS...but I finally contacted Garmin online asking how I could fix my problem and ultimately I had to do a total system reset. So when I finally felt good enough to go out for a run last night I didn't have my workout loaded onto the Garmin and it wasn't synced with my heart rate monitor. I also didn't pay attention to how far I had gone during my 5 minute warm up walk so I had to guess when I would be finished with my 2.25 miles of running. I was off by .02 of a mile. I really felt like I was running super slow and I wanted to stop long before the 2.25 miles...but I didn't. I trudged through and finished...even though I was somewhat slower than I have been recently. Guess that's what happens though when you get sick and can't run for a week...not to mention that I'm still sick!

When you don't have a workout set up the Garmin automatically 'laps' at every mile.

I'm hoping to be back to my regular every other day running schedule now. I have my next 5k race this coming Saturday and I'm worried that my being sick is going to hinder me from making another PR. I really hope not though.

I hope everyone enjoys their Monday. I'm trying to get all of my laundry caught up...and I finally figured out what Isabel is going to be for Halloween...a cabbage patch doll...so I'm crocheting a yarn wig for her from a friends pattern. I'll share pictures when I finish it! : )

Sick

I haven't abandoned you I promise. I've just been sick the past few days and along with that has come added stress that is causing me to...not fall of the healthy eating wagon...but rather I'm still holding on but am being dragged a few miles. I will post an update as soon as I'm feeling up to it. Just wanted you to know that I'm still around. : )

A 'Titanic' Weekend

It feels like its been a lot more than four days since I posted last...but I'm glad it hasn't been. Here comes your weekend recap!

Saturday morning was spent getting ready for my friend's wedding reception and submitting my final weigh in for my Mommies Facebook group challenge. I had NO IDEA what I was going to wear to the reception. It was an backyard reception (they were married the night before in a backyard wedding) and was also the first pretty cool day since springtime. The few dress clothes I had recently worn were now too big : ) so I had to figure something else out. Remember my post about sorting all of my clothes into sizes and storing them with the next size down on top? Well, I decided to go downstairs and take a look and see if I might possibly fit into anything. I ended up bring up a few things...including two pairs of size 18 dress pants (grey and black) that I didn't try on but figured even if they didn't fit quite yet that I would be able to fit into them soon. So there I am Saturday morning staring at three pairs of dress pants (the two size 18 pairs and a black pair size 20?) and four sweaters (two were size 2X and two were XXL...what is the difference? They both have two X's!). I decided to try on the black size 18 pants first and I was praying the whole time I was pulling them up..."God, please let them fit, please let them fit!" and THEY FIT!!! *They even started falling down as the day went on...I kept having to hike them back up! The XXL shirts were bright colored...one pink and one baby/aqua-ish blue...and I didn't really want to stand out like that so I figured I would see if the 2X light grey sweater would fit. I was actually hoping that it would be too big but it fit perfectly. I have worn those 2X sweaters quite a bit and therefore washed them quite a bit and all I can figure is that it shrunk some over several drying sessions...or I was wearing them WAY too tight before...which is possible because I know there was NO WAY I was buying 3X ANYTHING!

Found this picture of me wearing the green 2X sweater...the grey sweater is the exact same sweater. Looks like it was pretty tight...you can see the white tank top through the stretched knitting.

So anyways, I was pretty happy with how I looked and I was fairly confident that I would be warm enough and it actually stayed at an acceptable temperature most of the time we were there. I would have gone even if I had to wear a parka though! ; ) I hadn't seen him in a couple of YEARS and was really looking forward to seeing him and being able to be a part of celebrating his wedding! We had a really good time. I just wish I would have gotten to talk to him and his new bride more, but that's how it goes at all weddings...or any party for that matter. If you are the host or guest of honor it seems like you never get to spend as much time with each guest as you would like. I'm hoping that we'll be able to get together and visit before its been another couple years.

Oh, right before we were about to leave to go to the wedding reception I got a text message from the lady heading up our weight loss challenge telling me that she was about to post the results! I hurried over to the computer (even though we were already 15 minutes late in leaving our house) and logged in to Facebook. I was so sure I was going to see that I had won...but I did not. : ( I lost by 3.5 measly points!!! The mommy who won is a freaking workout MACHINE...and that's what put her over me! : ) Its all in good fun, motivation, and support (it stings a little). Plus, we're starting another 6 week challenge this Friday and I plan to kick ASS and take NAMES! lol

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On Sunday at noon we dropped the kids off at David's parents house and headed to The Henry Ford Museum. I was SO EXCITED to see the Titanic exhibit...more excited then I even expected to be! I'm not sure why I have such a fascination with it but I couldn't wait to see actual artifacts from the ship and its passengers! It took us longer to get to Dearborn than I was expecting and so we had lunch later than expected too. I had two $10 gift cards for Olive Garden so we went to one a few miles from the museum and got the all you can eat soup, salad, and bread sticks. YUMMY! I don't really think I pigged out...except maybe on the salad...I had one bread stick and a bowl of the chicken and gnocchi soup (cream based). I did order a second bowl of soup, the minestrone, but I didn't really care for it and was really full by that time so I only had about three bites of that.

We arrived at the museum a little after 3:00pm (our tickets for the Titanic exhibit were for the 4:45pm slot) and I felt like we had to rush through seeing everything and I'm pretty sure we missed quite a bit...but I'd like to take the kids there sometime because I know my boys would just be in awe of the big planes, huge steam engine train, and all of the cars.

This was the first thing we saw walking into the museum. I was a little freaked out when we had to walk under it later.

The open train car reminded me of Water For Elephants so I had David take my picture in front of it. While I think the book was WAY better than the movie...I wouldn't have minded if Robert Pattinson happened to be hiding in the train car. ; )

Too cool! : )

They didn't allow us to take pictures in the Titanic Exhibit unfortunately but the whole experience was awesome...except for how many people were milling through it all at once. It took a really long time to get through the exhibit...which I didn't mind (David did...and it was annoying trying to see or read something and feeling like you were being cattle prodded on). I wanted to see and read EVERYTHING! Before entering the exhibit everyone was given a "Boarding Pass" for Titanic with the name of one of the real passengers. At the end of the exhibit there was a list of the "Saved" and "Lost" and you could see which 'you' were. If you go to Katie's blog Runs for Cookies...she has a post about the exhibit as well and even has a picture of her Boarding Pass. My passenger's name was Mrs. Annie Elizabeth Sage, wife to Mr. John G. Sage, and mother of NINE...Stella (20), George (19), Douglas (18), Frederick (16), William (11), Ada (9), Constance (7), and Thomas (4). They were third class passengers. At the end I found out that my passenger and her ENTIRE family were all lost when Titanic sank! I did think that it was a neat idea to have the boarding passes and I'm positive that whoever came up with the idea had the best intentions at heart...to share a little bit about the lives of those who were on Titanic as well as to make it more real to us spectators. However, most of what I saw were people reacting like it was a game. Now, I did turn to my husband and say 'You died!' as if I were telling him that he missed seeing something interesting on TV...but there were people that were racing each other to find their passenger's name and would then laugh and say "Haha, you died!"!!! Those were REAL people...all of those names on that wall were living, breathing beings who had husbands and wives...and children!!! I left feeling so deflated and saddened in knowing that among the more than 1,500 lives lost, an entire family of eleven people perished. I really wish I hadn't gotten the name of a mother. All I could think about on the drive home was how that mother had to figure out a way to comfort her children...especially the young ones! I cannot even FATHOM knowing that you cannot save or shield your child from such a horrible end. If, like me, you want to know a little more about the Sage family's lives you can check out this little article I found online.

Here is a picture to lighten the mood. The Wienermobile! I took a picture of this vehicle with David next to it...I will NOT share what 'pose' he is striking...you can just use your imagination. ;)

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I was suppose to run Sunday night but didn't since we got home after dark. Instead I ran last night (Monday night). It was C25K Week 5's day three workout which called for running two miles straight...no walking breaks. Remember when I was so paranoid about doing this workout before...it was 20 minutes straight? This time I KNEW I could do it...I was just worried about how long it was going to take me. I knew that it was going to take me more than 20 minutes because I wasn't running over 2 miles until I was at 30 minutes straight. I did a little better than I expected and when I compared it to my other 2 mile runs I could definitely see my continued progress.

If you can't read this I apologize...it shows an improvement each time...that's all you really need to know anyways. : )

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I've decided that I am going to try and sign up for at least one race a month so that I'm always training for something...keep me motivated to run even when I don't want to which is all the time. My next race is the Great Pumpkin 5k on October 13th and I hope to get a new PR. I was looking up a race to do for November and I came across something called World Run Day. Has anyone else heard of this? I've decided that I am going to participate. It seems like a lot of fun and I'm hoping to get a group of people together to run a 5k course. Essentially its a virtual race, so you can run anywhere you want. You can also pick any distance you want and they are encouraging participants to donate to their favorite local charities. You can register through the active.com site and for a fee they will send you a t-shirt in the mail for participating and add your name to their event site. I'm really looking forward to it...and I hope to see some fellow blog runners post about participating as well. : )

I hope you all have a great Wednesday! I've got to get my house in a visitor condition for the Hunger Games themed party I'm hosting on Friday. "May the odds be ever in your favor!"

...but I finished it!

I realize this is a photo from our wedding. I don't have any early photos of us on my new computer so it'll have to do.

Today my husband and I have been a couple for 13 years! I cannot believe how fast the time has flown by! It doesn't seem like that long ago we were giddy teenagers spending every moment we could together (more my doing than his...he always wanted his girlfriend-free time). We were going to try and go out together tonight but that didn't end up working out. However, this anniversary gave me the perfect excuse to make David FINALLY take me to see the Titanic exhibit at The Henry Ford Museum on Sunday...its only running through the end of September! I've been bugging him about it for MONTHS and this was the perfect opportunity to try one last time to get him to take me. So we are going on Sunday at 4:45pm...because the only tickets they had left (Saturday was SOLD OUT)  were for either 4:45pm or 5:00pm...so much for getting there "as early as possible" like David requested. Oh well, I'm seeing this dang Titanic exhibit if I have to RUN WALK there!

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Tomorrow is my final weigh in for my Mommies group on Facebook! I'll find out if either I or another Mom won! We were tied for first place after last week's weigh in. Did I mention this already? Sorry if I'm being repetitive. I'll let you know how it goes.

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I went for a run tonight...C25K week 5 day 2 workout! It sucked...but I did it! I didn't realize it was raining till I went to walk out the door. So I put on my rain jacket over my running clothes...but I ended up ditching it halfway through because it felt like I was in a sauna that weighed 500 lbs.! My left hamstring was bothering me again and my right foot got pretty numb...but I finished. My time wasn't that great...but I finished! That is the great accomplishment every time I step out the door for a run...FINISHING IT!!!

I hope everyone has a good weekend! I know I will...I get to see a good friend of mine from high school at his wedding reception and Sunday I'm FINALLY seeing the Titanic Exhibit!

Before & After & After Pics

This was from homecoming my Junior year. That is my husband David in the picture with me but I just didn't think he'd like me to post a bunch of pictures of him on here. He is in a couple pictures though.

This was my smallest, or close to it, I may have lost a little more weight into my Senior year (a couple pictures of me my senior year are in my guest post at EatTeachBlog) but this is where I wish I could get. About 130-135 lbs. Now, I realize that I will NOT look exactly like my 16 year old self ever again...but I can certainly aim for that weight again. Aren't I smokin'??? Well, at least my husband thought so. ; )

This was taken at David's Open house, so I was 18. Excuse my clothes...I was never very stylish and hardly ever looked put together...in fact, I'm still not.

I am 18-19 years old here. Look at that leg??? I WOULD date me!!! ; )

Then David and I moved in together and it was all downhill from there. We were living on our own, going to college full time, and both working at The Home Depot as many hours as we could. I would guess that I am around 160-170 lbs. here. You can definitely tell that I was starting to put on weight...look at that junk in the trunk!

This photo was taken on our honeymoon. I weighed around 185 lbs. when we got married. When I look at this picture now I don't think I look that bad...but I'm obviously self conscious...I have my arm wrapped over my stomach to try and mask the bulge.

Besides the obvious extra weight I really like this picture of me...which surprises me because I usually HATE any photos of me taken after 2003 (besides my wedding photos which I actually love). This was taken the Christmas after we got married in 2004. I'm not sure what I weigh here but I can tell I had gained even more judging by the size of my thighs and upper arms.

Then I started having babies and my weight just sky rocketed from there. This is the day I had my first child, Jacob. I weight 238 lbs.

 I did lose all but 10 lbs. or so of what I gained while pregnant with Jacob before I got pregnant with Nathan...but I was still bigger (non-pregnancy wise) than I had ever been before.

I shot back up to 238 lbs. by the time I delivered Nathan. He was almost 10 weeks early, so I can't even imagine how much more I would have gained had he been full term!

When I became pregnant in July of 2009 I still weighed around 238 lbs. I was very worried about the amount of weight that I would gain while pregnant. However, just shy of the 12 week mark I miscarried. I had what is called a blighted ovum (yoke sack, but no baby). At the time I thought I was dealing with it well and told myself it was because I hadn't 'really' lost a baby since there was never an embryo. I did however, decide shortly thereafter to really try to lose some weight. After four months of eating between 1000-1100 calories a day (I didn't exercise then) I had lost 40 lbs...but then I let life get in the way and I lost my resolve.

*I did recently find out that a medication that I was trying out for migraine prevention caused weight loss...as well as hair loss. I was on the medication for a little over 4 months during the time that I lost the weight and had quit taking it due to losing ALOT of hair shortly before I started to gain the weight back.

I was around 245 lbs. when Isabel was born and never lost more than a couple pounds which I then gained back plus two to put me at my all time high of 247 lbs.

When we asked a friend of mine to take our family portrait I was honestly shocked by how horrible I looked! I knew I needed to change...but kept putting it off. At that time my excuse was not wanting to try to lose weight during the upcoming holidays. So I stayed at 247 lbs. until the beginning of 2012 when I swore my New Year's Resolution would be to lose 100 lbs. and that I was actually going to follow through with my resolution for the first time EVER!

Now here I am 30 lbs. lighter. I know I'm not going to lose 100 lbs. by the end of the year...but I will hopefully be more than half way there!