Saturday, February 11, 2012

Experimenting

...with food that is. I had my first taste of Ezekiel bread yesterday and I must say I really liked it (toasted with peanut butter...of course)!

For dinner I tried something else new, quinoa, I used it like rice and make my own variation of a fried rice. My husband and I both agreed that the flavor was AWESOME, he however, didn't really care for the texture of the quinoa (Its a little more chewy than rice).

I seem to be 'making up' recipes more lately, and I'm really enjoying that! I never thought I'd be a decent enough cook to think "hmmm, these things will taste good together." Sometimes it has been because I just want to try something different, other times its been because I desperately needed to go grocery shopping and I'm trying to make a meal out of the odds and ends I had left.

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I started off doing better yesterday. I seriously need to change my mindset though. You know how smokers who've quit say that there are certain situations when the craving to light up is worse...like when drinking or while driving? I'm like that with fast food! Anytime I'm in the car driving anywhere the thought pops in my head. "You know, I think I'm hungry, I better stop at [insert any chain fast food place here]". Yesterday was no exception. I took Jacob to preschool and when I left I had decided I was going to go to McDonald's (again...see previous post...apparently I hadn't learned my lesson)! I was even in the left turn lane to head there. I thank God that it was a red light because it gave me just enough time to fight with myself over it and realize that I didn't NEED to go there! Also, I'm thankful that there weren't a line of cars next to me blocking me from squealing (yes I did) my tires and getting over to the right turn lane to go home. I felt really good about changing my mind...empowered...and I know if I had gone to McDonald's then I just would've felt defeated and depressed for the rest of the day. Fast-forward three hours later and I'm taking my kids to get Timbits at Tim Horton's. Ugh...I did eat about 7 Timbits, which I did feel bad about, but not nearly as bad as if I had gotten the McDonald's. Of course, I don't know how many calories were in those 7 Timbits...ugh...guess I'll check now and write it below. *Accountability Erin...ACCOUNTABILITY*

Ok, the website doesn't show pictures of what eat Timbit looks like, so I'm kind of guessing here...
1 Lemon-filled Timbit: 60
1 Honey-dipped Timbit: 60
5 Sour Cream Glazed Timbits: 450
Total Calories Consumed: 570

Can you tell which ones are my favorite? Of course they are also 90 calories each instead of 60 like the other ones. Just like me to favor the junkier foods. Well, that number does make me cringe a little bit, but the damage would've been MUCH worse if I had gone to McDonald's.

I'm not really liking this accountability thing...lol...I'm use to eating all the junk with no one around and then never saying anything. Wow, I just realized how much like a drug addiction it is! Hiding it from your family and friends, overwhelming cravings...and here I thought I had dodged a bullet and NOT inherited both my parents addictive genes! I just chose something else besides the 'norm' for addictions. The difference is, I CAN'T stop eating! I will have to deal with my vice everyday for the rest of my life.

***Come on people (It sounds like I'm being bitchy, but I swear I'm not...its in a joking tone), can't you see I'm in a funk? Part of the reason I started this blog was to get encouragement from others. If you've been reading my blog but haven't responded in a comment...please leave one and tell me how it is for you!!! I need to know I'm not alone here...that I'm not just a disgusting slob. Right now I'm feeling like I'm the only one who does the things I said above...feeling the need to stop at a fast food place every time I'm in the car, etc. Hopefully I'll be in a better mood tomorrow after my weekly weigh in. Sorry I'm not very inspiring or uplifting at the moment...but this is tough and I'm really just starting down a never-ending road and it looks so daunting.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Ernie. I have been where you are many times. I finally had to do something so extreme, that I can't ever go back. I quit carbs, sugar and eat very low fat. Kicking the carbs and sugar was really hard, but has paid off in the long run. I no longer crave them (and haven't since September when I started my lifestyle change). It would be unrealistic for me to think that I will never have them again, but I know now that when I do treat myself, it will have to be in very controlled circumstances. I am a full out addict and need to treat my addiction as any addict would. You don't give an alcoholic beer and you don't give me sugar and carbs. I'm not suggesting that you do anything as strict as I have, but you need to understand your limits and respect them. There is junk around me all the time, but I have gotten to a place in my life where I would prefer to live long and be healthy, then indulge and feel like crap. You can do this Ernie! I have faith in your desire to be healthy:) Good luck!

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    1. Hi Ernie. I too have similar problems as well. I, too, ate things from fast food chains like I shouldn't have (uhmm...Taco Bell AND Chipotle). It is hard because food is SUCH an addiction and it isn't something you can ever just give up. I'm not sure what the key is to ridding of it but hopefully we'll figure it out soon!!! Keep strong and I hope your weigh in goes well tomorrow!

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